It’s my birthday!

So this week I turned 32 (though still people think I’m in my 20’s).

Every year feels like something I’m grateful for because of my health and disabilities. It also brings some sadness that I’m still in this situation with my health and I’m not out there doing the dream things I wish I’d rather be able to do. However I’m still so hugely grateful for many things though and this is what I try to focus on around the time of my birthday.

Making pancakes!

I try to make my birthday as special as possible with lots of little acts of self-care. Like when I had my bath I used my favourite skincare products and gave myself a mini facial. I also got out my favourite Lush Snow Fairy shower gel. I put on some makeup too which always makes me feel brighter. For my tea I decided I wanted pancakes as a treat. I wanted to be in on the action so I made the mixture myself and helped my PA make them. (Unfortunately I enjoyed them too much to take a photo of them!)

I received some lovely and very thoughtful cards gifts from family, friends and my PAs. This really made my day and filled me with love and gratitude to see people knowing me so well and just the kindness that went into choosing or making things for me. Knowing I love my garden, handmade gifts, my need for low-energy activities, that I love crafts Moomins and pjs,, a voucher towards a facial or something and lots of other lovely things. It’s lovely to look at my cards too that I’ve put up and know that people have wanted to send me a card to celebrate my birthday.

As well on another day I went to my Dad’s and stepmum’s and the three of us ate tea and played a game which is something we collectively enjoy doing together. I won the game which really surprised me as normally I don’t win at games.

So yes birthdays can bring difficult emotions for me. Difficult memories and thoughts of more illness ahead of me especially at the moment as I’m living with undiagnosed symptoms that I can’t get answers for that are really affecting me and not knowing the outcome. However on the bright side my 32rd year has so many positives. 

• I have my own home that is amazing both inside and outside; quite literally, as Dad has made my garden so lovely for me.
• I now have a wheelchair that meets my needs and my Batec that gives me freedom and independence. 
• I have some amazing friends and pen pals. 
• I have an amazing family. 
• I have a new amazing PA now so my care situation has really improved. Hopefully in my 32nd year I’ll get a full PA team - how amazing would that be! 
• I’m also now under a specialist M.E. team at UCLH (my first appointment is in October and I was only referred in February!) Maybe I’ll also from them start to get answers or referrals to get closer to working out my undiagnosed symptoms.
• I’m doing really well at my declutterring and organising of my home plus my no spend project I start this year. I also want to start a project pan too at some point too!

That’s quite a list of positives! There are so many reasons to be happy this year going forward despite the difficulties and everything. Focusing on the positives help get me through the difficult times. I’m not one of those people who lets my health beat me down no matter how bad things get. Yes sometimes I have a bit of a cry but don’t we all, illness or no illness. We all have things in our live that challenge us.

Birthday’s are a time of the year where we can look back on the year we’ve just had. We can see how far we’ve come, what we’ve accomplished and survived etc. and what we have to come in the year ahead both positive and challenging. Just deal with one day at a time and remember to breathe. Embrace every day as it’s a gift as we never know what is to come.