Depression, Anxiety & OCD

Many people in the UK are affected by mental illness, the statistics say around 1 in 4 people. This can vary from depression, panic disorder, personality disorders through to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Schizophrenia and eating disorders and many other mental illnesses conditions. They can vary in severity and everyone is affected differently.

I personally view that no mental illness is worse than another. Each mental illness puts individuals and those around them through difficult times.

Some mental illnesses are short-term whereas other they can be life-long conditions.

Treatments may include medication, inpatient, day patient or outpatient treatment, talking therapies (there are many many different types of talking therapies as well as creative therapies like play, art, dance, music plus dance and movement), occupational therapy as well as other types of therapies. Some people may be able to live in the community others may need some form of supportive living.

It really annoys when people misuse mental illness terms like ‘I’m so depressed’ when they’re just having a bad day or ‘you’re so OCD’ when the person is just a neat and tidy person.


Anxiety, Depression and OCD

It’s actually taken me a lot to write this but I’ve realised there’s no shame in having difficulties with my mental health just as much as I have difficulty with the connective tissue in my body.

I’ve struggled with mental health problems for more of my life than I haven’t. Sometimes I’m okay, sometimes I wobble, sometimes I need help to manage things in one form or another. I’m not afraid to say that I’ve been on medication for a very long time and I’ve also received a lot of therapy which I find works for me. I’m currently in therapy at the moment. I also access mental health services when needed too.

For as long as I remember I’ve always had a thing with 3’s and 9’s (because 3 3’s are 9). I remember being upset on my 10th birthday because I wouldn’t be 9 anymore. I have to do things in a 3 or 9 pattern. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me so much, other times when I’m more anxious my OCD takes over. I also have OCD over obsessive thoughts and behaviours and this goes into line with my eating disorder. I think this goes hand in hand with my Autism too. 

Research has shown that OCD, anxiety and depression are more likely to be experienced by those with Autism than non-autistic people. - National Autistic Society 

I first probably became truly depressed when I was about 11 or 12. Triggered by multiple difficulties in my life including bullying and moving to secondary school which I didn’t cope with at all. My primary school was connected to my secondary school and I felt like between the summer holidays my peers from primary school became completely different people once we started secondary school. I felt left behind by them, me still a child; them all grown up. The bulling got much much worse too. I didn’t like a lot of things about mainstream secondary school. There was the unexpected bereavement of my Nana too who I was close to as well.


Soon after the depression hit me I developed severe anorexia (and Eating Disorder, ED). I couldn’t cope with the outpatient care so I soon became very ill with my ED. For the next several years I was in and out of different inpatient units for as well as hospitals (due to how physically ill I was). Inpatient treatment didn’t really do anything for me due to the lack of therapy and treatments in the units. What saved me was my CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) Therapist and the care and therapy she offered me. I'd love to let her know that I’m still here as she worried for me when I left. I didn’t leave because I was ready but because I became too old for CAMHS and unfortunately I wasn’t able to continue my therapy work as adult mental health services didn’t offer a therapy service.

I always believe that therapy can work for anyone, you just need to find the right therapist and therapy for you. For me I click with psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapy and some creativity (what I did in CAMHS). Currently I’m in therapy again it’s person-centred therapy along with creativity and even a little bit of play. I’ve come a long way in therapy and I can manage a lot better now. I have a toolkit of things from therapy that help me cope that I’ve gathered over the years.

I’m not ashamed to be on medication for my mental health, it helps keep me stable and less anxious and depressed. It’s also important I take my mental health medication to prevent my emotional wellbeing from becoming worse, just like my physical health medication for my physical symptoms.

It isn’t easy living with mental health issues. It’s especially difficult because what I’m going through is all locked in my head and no one can see what is going on. It’s exhausting sometimes particularly on my bad days.

What I would say though is there is hope. With meditation, therapy and other types of support mental illness can be managed and lived with.


Some of my coping skills

  • My emotions button jar
  • My jar of happy things
  • My self-care box
  • A nice cup of tea/coffee and a book
  • Listening to a book/podcast
  • Crafting or writing to a pen pal
  • Going for a ride on my Batec
  • Writing/drawing in my journal 
  • Where’s Wally books
  • Writing lists
  • Calling my Dad
  • Going to therapy 

 

More info and places with helplines:

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