Tuesday, 15 November 2022

Imagination

My M.E has been getting worse lately. I'm doing what I can when I'm able to and adjusting my daily plan with extra rest and low-level activity periods to save what little energy I have. 

I wanted this post to be about imagination as I've found that with having severe M.E for me personally I have to use my imagination a lot and I think it helps that I've always been quite an imaginative and creative person. 

I use my imagination when I'm resting and listening to my favourite soundscapes like the one of Central Park and my imagination weaves a narrative as I listen to the soundscape. Then there's the meditations I listen to; I quite like visualisation meditations the first favourite takes me through the colour spectrum my other favourite visualisation is for pain relief. It tells you of a magical cave with a pool of healing water within; I've listened to this meditation so often that in my imagination I've completely visualised and decked out this cave with differently coloured crystals growing in the cave walls, tiny dancing lights, the reflection of the water onto the cave ceiling, a sand floor, the pool outlined with rocks and more. This is where my imagination takes me.

When my body is too exhausted and I cannot do much else I lay and listen to audiobooks and I've been doing this more often recently getting through some rather enjoyable books.

Then when I can't do anything I just lay with my imagination. I didn't know what to term this but I've bravely started listening to Jessica Taylor-Bearman's book 'A Girl Behind Dark Glasses'. I say bravely because I've had the audiobook, the book and the ebook for a long time but I've never felt emotionally ready to listen or read Jess' book as it was too close to home. When I first started to listen I got about 5 minutes in and had to stop as I was crying so much as every word Jess was saying about how she was physically feeling I was agreeing with and I was also not feeling my best self either M.E wise. But in Jess' book she refers to something called 'limbo land' for Jess this is where her M.E is so bad that she has little consciousness but I can relate to 'limbo land' where my mind and body are just overwhelmed with M.E that it can't fully function. Physically everything hurts and moving is too much and cognitively your brain and mind are overwhelmed so all you can really do is just lay with the thoughts in your head and imagine. Often I take Grand Designs or Pinterest into my imagination. I build houses and plan all the rooms and design them. Other times I plan blog posts or ideas for YouTube videos or places I'd like to visit like caf├ęs, shops, museums or art galleries etc.

My imagination is really important to me as it provides me with a welcome distraction from my M.E and my symptoms especially pain. My imagination also takes me to places where my body and mind can't go. 

There is a quote that I really like and it is "Imagination is another name for absolute power." And that is completely true.