Thursday 11 April 2019

GUEST POST by Fiona for World FND Week 2019


"Hi, erm, today is Saturday and the time is 12.18. Right, where do I begin, (hmm)? I've been asked to do a blog on FND - Function Neurology Disorder. At the moment life just seems to be one great big struggle for me. Erm, I've been struggling since middle of February with this ear infection. All I keep hearing is like, like an aeroplane sound in my ear. Err, whether the FND is playing around with it as well, I don't know but it's leading me to have a lot of seizures. Erm, it's just making me feel really poorly at the minute. Erm, it really is. I'm struggling to hear; I'm just feeling really really weak. I've not got a lot of strength about me, at all. Erm, my seizures when they happen I can be fine one minute; next minute I'm just like in another world. It's really strange. Erm, my lad and my husband will just like look at each other and go like 'here she goes again', but not in a horrible way. It's kind of 'here she goes'; knowing that they noice the triggers. Erm, they notice because my voice is actually changed; they notice because they notice my shakes; they notice that, I can't say a normal word right. Erm, I'm concentrating on my favourite things right now and I'm concentrating towards my happy place but even that isn't helping. Now, somebody has told me 'concentrate on a happy place'. Now, I do my best and I try my breathing exercises as well. Thing is, what do you do when you feel like your seizures are coming on and the more that you try, the more you know that your body is just taking over. I have my music that I can put on. Erm, I have like a selection and I do try my hardest to kind of like sing along to it in a way. But (sigh) I haven't really got a clue what's going on; I really don't. Erm, (sigh) I just wish there was some way out of suffering this, I really do. Sorry I don't sound positive at the minute, but it's all just dragging me down. I just want to be better, but I just don't know how. I really don't know how. Sorry it's not a positive blog. Thanks guys."